Friday, February 1, 2013

Happy New Year (A Little Late)

New Years always makes me a little nostalgic - that's why I didn't post anything until now. I had nothing new to say. I don't really get into "new beginnings" the way a lot of people do. I miss things.

And while I haven't quite figured out my post-grad life, I have figured out one thing: I miss stability. I miss routine. I miss expectations and rules.

Eventually I'll get some of that back. I'll find a job. Outside of that, though, my expectations are low. I am scared of having a family, and I have very little hope for marriage. I'm not saying that this is a permanent thing; I'm just saying that right now I find very little comfort in the idea of attachment or reliance. Marriage - which has heretofore felt like a haven (still something you have to work for, don't misunderstand, but a safe space nonetheless) - makes me feel claustrophobic, stressed. I don't know what to do with that.

Fear not, though, dear readers. All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

I'll find faith in something.

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